My birthday, friendships and aquaintances

I turn 55 today. My past year, I made some changes. I am not as much of a introvert. I went to a gym all winter. When I went to Magic Smelt parade, this May, I did not use a wheelchair.

I am regaining my physical strength and emotional strength. My best friends are my cat Arya Ninja kitty, Pepe le Pew cat and some wild birds that talk with me on my porch.

I planted a bunch of flowers and I turned my porch into sanctuary. I have odd friendships. There is one neighbor across the street who will chat with me on Facebook but I never have chatted with her on my porch. One neighbor who lived on the corner would sit on my porch with me but sadly she died last year. Her young son hangs out at my house when my nephews are around. My adult children are busy but my son checks in on me a lot. My teen nephews spend a lot of time with me. I am their other mother in a way.

I realized tonight that most of my friendships are aquaintances. Yet, I devulge to much of myself. Since I am a Gemini/Taurus, my personalities and moods make me very argumentative with myself. Sometimes I wish I was more reserved like my stoic friends. As Popeye use to say, "I yam what I yam." I am a crazy cat lady some days and a crazy bird lady on others.

Beware of these Scams Online, On the Phone, and email.

I recently met a fake celebrity scam artist on Facebook. He pretended to be the musician Mike Oldfield. The scam artist started out preaching God to me. I wrote back, "I was not raised with a religion. I had a feeling that it was a scam but I wanted to find out what the scam was. He ignored me when I told him that I was not raised with a religion because he kept preaching god at me. He gave me an email address after asking me to be his girlfriend. I explained to him that I was dirt poor and that I was fat. He ignored that also and kept trying to charm me. So I emailed the scammer a paragraph of an old bio from one of my websites, did my best to sound nuts, and I knew that I would find out his scam soon. Especially if he thought I was crazy enough, dumb enough, or desperate enough to fall for it. He grabbed the bait and wrote back quickly...

     Fake Mike Oldfield wrote, "I have business proposal task I'll love to bestow on you. I have been busy with shows and many more, traveling. I'm looking for someone i can definitely trust cause i have got some few things I need to do and take care of without my management knowing about it. I was contacted by Max security company where i have my BRIEFCASE kept for a while and some valuable documents that belongs to me with the sum of $47,000.00 and some event tickets which i will be sharing to some couple fans of mine around the world. they are shutting down in couple of days and it has been giving me some problems since i have been busy with my shows and concert i won't have much time to take care of these responsibilities

The reason why i need someone to do this for me is because the company doesn't want any media buzz of their shutdown and as you know anything concerning my name is a big media story. I have been advised by my attorney to find someone out of my circle to give this task to and compensate them for their worries."

     These types of scam artists make fake accounts they can even pretend to be you and scam your friends with a fake you account. No one is immune to scam artists stealing their online persona and saying to their friends, "I am stranded in another country and I need help getting home." or what ever new scam they think up. One pretended to be a friend of mine. They totally faked a new profile of hers and then asked me if I got my "SSI grant money" or something like that. It was a couple of years ago that I saw that one.

     You know these scam artists must be sociopaths because they do not care who they rob, con, or hurt. They figure if the people are dumb enough to fall for it they deserve it. To me it is like they are stealing candy from babies. Is it stupidity that makes a person fall for these scams or is it greed? Maybe a little of both. They think they are getting money and then find themselves robbed. I even get these scam artists on the phone. They sound like they are from the middle east. They say, "You have received a $7000 grant from the Government. I use to cat and mouse these scammers just to see what else they would say but eventually grew bored and just made it so only my contacts could call me on the phone.

     So please do not fall for these scams and make others aware of any scams people try to pull on you.

Ruby

To the Performer

To the Performer
Do you ever
wonder if
Your smile has
Charmed me?
If the glitter
From your trinkets
Has lured me into
The secret realms
Of your soul?
I am not another
Half shell girl,
Pining,
in the distance,
Searching for
a tomorrow
that never comes.
While posing
as a naked Venus,
Who is
disguised as a pearl
of wisdom.
I need no disguise
as your footsteps
tread the
Realms of my mind.
Haunting,
in the astral plane.
You are a show man.
who knows how to
talk like a salesman.
I have been the
captive audience but
I am not caught.
Make no assumptions.
I  would not wish
to cause grief to your
Special friends.
Otherwise
I would floor you
with a dance,
that would make
your jaw drop.
For I am magic
full of joy
for life.
My smile
is contagious.
There is no drama
to touch you here.
No dooms and glooms,
for attention.
No clinging ivy
jealousy with
a choke hold
On your soul.
I do not
have to have
you right now.
I am complete.
Look!
Deep inside the
Archives of my soul.
I am just a
Story
That has not ended.
My song can be
Intoxicating.
Ode to the
Free souls
In realms eternity.
written by Ruby Nightingale 6/24/2015

Materialism and The Desire to Consume.

What countries do you believe to be the most materialistic? Look at the place you are living now. Are advertisements hounding you? Is there a drive in your community to accumulate things for status?

I have known a few hoarders in my life. They surround themselves with junk and garbage and they do not even realize they have a problem. I live in a poverty stricken community but they still manage to accumulate stuff. In the past 8 years of living in this area, I am shocked at how much garbage accumulated in my basement and I am still sorting through it trying to purge the junk before I move.

Most of it was old furniture that we tossed in the dumpster last week. Now what is left, is paperwork that has identity numbers on it, which needs shedding. Plus a two piles of electronic garbage. My basement turned into a dead machine and power-cord graveyard. Why does this happen? Poor people like me who have no cars have no way to haul the stuff away but I am discovering there are some places that pick up some of it; like keyboards, laptops, and computers. There are places that take old TV's. I just have to find them. What about dead printers? I think they actually cost money to get rid of.

I am a materialist. I collect art supplies, musical instruments, books, electronic gadgets, games, and nick knacks. Many of my nick knacks broke over the years and ended up in the basement graveyard.

Then there is the memorabilia. You know photos, heirlooms, and things that hold dear memories. I notice my children's generation seems less sentimental about those things. I have a spinning wheel that traveled the Oregon trail with my great great great grandmother. I asked all of my sisters and my nieces if they wanted it but no one was interested. My own children showed no interest in it, at first, but suddenly last week my daughter decided she wanted it. After she found out that I planned to send it to my mother's cousins.

I have purged many things this week but in the process I have been thinking about the earth, recycling, and the need to consume less. I need to become more aware of how much waste my household is producing every week. Have you ever sat down and thought about how much waste one family manages to produce? Well that is what is on my mind today. I wish it would be on everyone's minds. The earth is a beautiful creature. Do we want to behave like parasites the rest of our lives or do we want to groom and cherish this loving planet, that has blessed us with life? What can we do to consume less and still live a fulfilled life in comfort and beauty?

Dreams can Create Stories and They Tell us About Ourselves

I have a gift of remembering my dreams. Quite often they make great beginnings for stories. For example two nights ago I dreamed about a whale who was reincarnated from a man who was assassinated. The whale was living in a tank that was filthy. He was alone and ill. He told me he was communicating with me telepathically seeking help. If it truly was a telepathic dream there is no way I could find or help this whale but it triggered a story. I find myself developing the character of who he was before he was assassinated. Was he held in captivity as a human? Then I find myself developing who he is as a whale. Deciding was he born in captivity or was he caught in the wild? I think the character who telepathically picks up on his plight must live near him. Should I make the person a member of an organization similar to PETA?

This is not the first time a dream inspired me nor will it be the last. Sometimes I think I live for, my stories. My advice to anyone who is suffering from writers block. Try to remember your dreams, keep a dream journal, or record it on a IPod or computer. The more you make an effort to wake up and record your dreams the more you remember them.

If I were to look at the symbology of my dream; I would have to say the dream is telling me that my illness has isolated me. The air in Duluth has smelled toxic lately because I live near a paper mill. Just like the whales tank was toxic. When I was a child I was nick named Gayle the whale. I have yet to figure out what the part of the dream about the assassination and reincarnation was saying unless it meant that with the move an old part of my life is being slain and that I am going through a major change. I do think our dreams do try to tell us things about ourselves as well as they can inspire.

Do We Need a Life's Purpose to Live a Fulfilling and Enlightened Life?

There are people that I have known, in my life, who worry about their life purpose. One long time friend beats herself up trying to figure out what her life purpose is. Each day, each moment, we as people really need to learn to make peace with ourselves. Then maybe we can be at peace with others in our lives.

I do not bang my head on a wall trying to figure out the purpose and meaning behind my life. I feel like I am here to be creative and I want to be helpful. I make my mistakes. I struggle with laziness more than I struggle with loneliness. I am enjoying the quiet time I have today. The calm before this months big move. Still my friend's wish lingers in my mind when I take the time to think of our conversations. "I need to find out what my life's purpose is?" She often says.

The thing is I do not think the human race has even figured out what our true purpose is. Are we a random fluke, some sort of entertainment for a higher power, or here for some other unknown reason for our existence, that we never really even thought of yet?

Some people would gladly tell you what they think your life purpose is or some will tell you they can help you figure it out. There are some people who do not believe we have a life purpose at all. I sometimes feel like my friend expects me to tell her what her purpose is. I am just glad to have her for a long time friend. I like her art, she is a calming friend when I feel anxiety. I am there for her when she has her own life stresses and anxiety.

I think that people often fulfill their life's purpose without even thinking about it. It just happens and we do not need to fret about it. In a way the reason for fretting about life's purpose is a reflection of a desire to heal ourselves and to improve our lives. I think that self healing starts with taking in each day and moment and really appreciating the privilege of life. Life has it's good and bad moments and days. Whether we focus ahead or look behind at the past, this moment is what is significant until the next breath. Poof and it has passed.

My purpose today was to take a break from sorting through my stuff and instead I took the time to sort through my thoughts. This moment is peaceful. So I choose to share it and say, whatever purpose there is in life; I am going to work on being good to myself and those I love. I will  quiet my mind, in order to make a point to listen to my friends and my loved ones. Maybe some day I will think of something wise to say when my friend is worried about her purpose in life.

My Absence

I have been very ill this past year. I had 5 surgeries. Two surgeries last fall, two surgeries last winter and hopefully the final surgery in May 2013. I spent my 50th birthday in the hospital. I spent most of June in a nursing home going through physical and occupational therapy. The good thing is I am 100 lbs less than I was 2 years ago.

I have been thinking deeply about family. I am very lucky that my young adult children are doing so well. They graduated High school, they work hard with their jobs, they both will be attending college in the fall. I can't take all of the credit but I am so proud of them. I am also proud of the non relative son who adopted me and nick named me mommykins. He is in the national guard right now studying to be a medic and when he returns he hopes to be a part of our household.

This month I am have to move to another HRA house. This house needs to be remodeled. The new home will be in mint condition. My doctors and nurse are concerned this will have an impact on my incision. So I have been doing my best to find friends and homemakers willing to help me with the packing. Luckily housing is hiring the movers. It is having an impact on my wallet. This month will be so hard on us. I can count my blessings that my son has a job but he needs to save money for school but I have had to borrow from him during this move. Like his sister he wants to attend his first year of college without owing loans.

After I heal from this surgery, I still plan to return to school to finish my bachelor degree. I might change from studying computer science and instead study journalism. I tend to write more than I even do my art these days. I have several children's books written that I plan to illustrate myself but I feel I must improve my art first.